I consider myself a consummate network nurturer – a service-oriented business development builder of remarkable people. When I meet a new connection, I’m notoriously eager to inquire about their day, their hopes, and their dreams. I listen for commonalities we share and potential introductions that might be of benefit to their journey. For me, this has been my guiding principle in what alleviates the daunting nature of large-scale networking events. I seek to engage with people at the human level, not a business-building level.
For the introvert, (and pre-COVID) banquet rooms packed with hundreds of attendees was once an overwhelming view of any given networking session. In these settings, we’d conjure up our elevator speech, our compelling reason for people to remember who we are. Attempting to prove our self-worth based on whom we work for or our professional expertise. This type of networking experience can leave a negative connotation for anyone with a strong aversion to being left feeling like no one has a genuine interest in their story.
And now we’re recalibrating through quarantine, where we’ve spent the past six to seven weeks oscillating between fearful isolation and keeping busy through ZOOM meetings, Skype calls, virtual happy hours, and anything to fill the 24-7 spent at home.
Seriously! What in the world are we even supposed to be doing? Social isolation has put a damper on traditional networking. (And who even really liked that anyway?) But I believe there’s an opportunity to pivot through all of the social restrictions we’re facing.
Human connections are clutch. It’s the way we tend to our networks that will sustain our connections.
This is where I tell you that you’re going to nurture your network -remotely. And, yeah, it’s going to be great! This time of isolation is an even greater reason to nurture those genuine connections we’ve made both personally and professionally. It’s about being of service to others, having an interest in other people, and putting yourself out there. And for those who aren’t receptive to your acts of nurturing, well -Bye Felicia! Because you’re about deepening those human connections that you value most and not wasting your time with the superficial ones.
As if this virtual space isn’t hard enough. Albeit convenient, but it takes some extra effort for many folks. But I’m telling you that with consistent effort, it will become second nature.
But it doesn’t have to feel daunting. All you have to do is make your networking feel human by nurturing through acts of service, having an interest in other people, and simply by putting yourself out there for others to relate to.
Let’s talk about being of service to others. When you’re nurturing your networks, you’re initiating opportunities to connect. (And don’t worry. This will become reciprocal.) You need to initiate opportunities to connect where you reach out to a prospective client, mentor, colleague, volunteer associate, etc. This can look like any of the following:
- Calendar invite for a social-distancing walk
- Email or text check-in
- Virtual coffee meeting showcasing your mad coffee-making skills (Almond milk latte, anyone?)
Schedule these nurturing sessions with your network just as you would an in-person work meeting. Because it’s about having an interest in other people and letting them know you’re thinking about them.
Take a moment and just recall the reaction you got from any single person who was delighted to discover that you crossed their mind.
Of course, text, email, phone, and Skype are all great ways to initiate nurturing your networks. Do you want to surprise someone you value? During your weekly grocery store run, grab a couple of greeting cards to mail out, letting people know you’re thinking about them. I promise you that they will always remember you for the thoughtful and surprising gesture of the tangible handwritten note.
In all of this, you’re continuously putting yourself out there. But even more than just putting yourself out there is to be vulnerable with YOUR story. Share how you’re navigating the new strange (because I refuse to call quarantine the new normal). Share what you’re thinking, what you are enjoying, what made you laugh about Tiger King.
And just as you’re nurturing your network to maintain connections, your network needs to have connections to your story too. Remember, I said it would become reciprocal? You help make that happen by sharing yourself.
I know it may feel lonely right now. But for those who are inspired by quotes, I recently posted on my Instagram account (lvjones74) one by Rumi that says,
“If everything around you seems dark, look again. You may be the light.” This is the time where you can be the light by helping to nurture your networks through this darkness.
Remember, the three most important actions when nurturing your network are asking, listening, and sharing.
Asking
· Questions about their day
· What they’re looking forward to
· What challenges they’re facing
Don’t lead with questions about their job.
Listening
· Shared interests
· New perspectives
· Opportunity to assist with a problem
Don’t tune out midway through the answer to your question.
Sharing
· Highlights from your day, week, month, or year
· Something new you learned
· Latest project you’re working on and any challenges YOU’RE facing
Don’t dominate the conversation by oversharing.
So what’s the benefit of all of this? Nurturing your networks makes you a trusted and valued resource to the people you value. It’s how you build a deeper human connection with the people you choose to invest your time—demonstrating an authentic approach to building genuine partnerships. This creates a ripple effect in initiating connections between the people in your network.
How will you set out to be of service to your current networks and the new relationships you create? In every human interaction you encounter throughout the rest of 2020, seek to learn more about the people you engage with in conversation. Take an interest in how they’re managing through these difficult times, and choose to be vulnerable in how you’re managing just the same. We’re all in this together—one united network.. Humanly connected in solidarity.
Tasha L. Jones
NOTE: Opinions expressed are solely my own and do not express the views or opinions of my employer.
